Duk-tales: Townsville Thunder – Day 6

Duk-tales: Townsville Thunder – Day 6

Southbound Again !                                 Thursday 3rd May, 2018

The day for me started at 6am, after lying awake for an hour it was time to get up and load the bike for todays ride south. Crackers and Jigga did not surface with the rest of us so I made the executive decision to knock on their glass sliding window like a woodpecker. The blinds opened a piece, just enough for me to catch a full moon. Only this one had an Angry Bird on it and a crack that would make a plumber blush. So when Jigga says “Hey babe, wanna see my Angry Bird” it’s not his front junk he wants to show off.

The word is that the Gillies Roadhouse does a top breakfast, just the ticket to get the day started and we can agree she’s a good sort too. However Jigga asked her to supersize the big breakfast b’coz it is not big enough. Add a steak and call it “Jigga’s Bigga Bloody Big Breakfast”, which he proceeded to consume with wanton abandon. We took a short detour to the Curtain Fig Tree. A 400 year old monster tree of which there are 2 in this area. The Cathedral is the other but it isn’t Sunday and a man abides not the Sabbath unless it is Black Sabbath.

From here the Go Cart Track at Mareeba beckoned so we traversed the same ground as yesterday however Marty’s GPS was a bit off and we overshot the turn off. Never mind, only the second time as yesterday he went around the car park twice at the sky lift. With 3x sessions of about 30 laps it was all about testosterone vs speed vs controlled drifting. Running on four wheels of slick rubber holding less traction than a flavoured condom is hard work on the arms. Gonna feel like wankers cramp in the morning. Marty did fastest lap in the first session while Jigga and I contested for 2nd. Froggie and Crackers were testing the surface at a steadier pace. Session 2 was Jiggas and 3 was The Duktape who also scored quickest Lap for the day. But if weights were taken into account Jigga may have pipped it.

This rounded of the trip thus far with Jigga, he broke off to make Townsville for Rally time and a date with “*Tinder”. Back to the four of us who turned left and made for Kuranda, the cut through the hills to Kuranda then into Cairns for a visit to the Harley Dealership. Crackers’ floorboards scraped almost every corner along the way. The twisties are awesome! As we pulled up Froggie’s bike made some “You don’t have a FOB noises”. Turns out the device that tells the bikes security you are there had run out of battery right in front of the shop. Finally Marty is able to find a Shark Helmet that fits his big noggin and I bought a new light bulb for the fog light blown somewhere in the outback.

A quick lunch at the Cock and Bull the size of which could not be consumed and on to Mission Beach. Crackers ordered a beef Schnitzel however the young waitress suggested he’d better have the Veal Schnitzel because they’d run out of Beef. He didn’t have the heart to correct her. The titty bar next door was closed so as not to create a further distraction. By the time we’d reached Innesvale a squall had dumped a load on us and Jeans were wet, socks started draining water into the boots and glasses fogged somewhat. Here the *Silver GPS in Marty’s head played up again and we ended up between Bumfucknowhere and Warethfukarwe. The sign said Wangan but it was not detrimental to the general direction we needed to go. Once I had my old mate Google locate and redirect it was time for the Duk to lead out once more. This only moderately helped the situation as I’d not located the iPhone onto my handlebars so had to work on signs and voices in the helmet. Mission Beach was a mission to find but we got there in the end. Time to take the Mission Beach Resort Courtesy Bus for a Joyride to Chappy’s place for a session of beer and frivolity. A pit stop at the BWS Bottlo fuelled the night at the House of Music Guru and father of the “Chappy’s Spiritual Revival Music Quest” an event Chappy runs annually for invitees only. By 8pm we realised we hadn’t arrange anything for dinner but Ange, top hostess as she is popped open a bag of chips and made Cheese and Vegemite Toast to tide us over. Well tide me over coz the lads were not as hungry as they were thirsty.

*Tinder is a dating app for root rats.
*Silver GPS is in reference to out 2010 Mt Bulla Adventure where John Boundy’s (known as Silver) GPS led us astray many a time.

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